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Oh my frigging gosh, you’d never guess what?
I’m a millionaire. Well no actually. I think the correct term is billionaire. I’m so excited I could keel over now in utter shock and happiness. Turns out right, that I’m the long lost daughter of a miss Anita Mabu and her husband (who is presumably my dad) has just died, leaving her a widow, and she hasn’t got a bank account in Nigeria, so she’s leaving me all of his money. All I’ve got to do is send her my bank details and I’m quids in.
I can’t breath, I’m soooo excited. I’m going to take all of my friends shopping in LA, buy a massive car (a pink one with Betty Boop designed seats and baby blue dice), then I’m going to go to the Bahama’s on holiday with my boyfriend (okay I don’t have one YET, but I’m sure the offers will start rolling in once everyone realises I’m like dirty stinking rich), then I’m going to give the woman who I thought was my mum (i.e the woman who’s an older looking version of me who’s brought me up my whole life), give her like a million pounds so she can do whatever, I’ll explain that I’ve found my new mum now and so therefore she’s no longer needed (and all that jazz). In the midst of that I’m going to quit all of my jobs and completely be rude to every single member of staff I’ve never liked and ruin any relationship in the ‘working world’ that I have. But who cares? I’m a millionaire. Right?
- Yeah. Pull the other one.
In all honesty its quite hilarious. The grammar they use, the way they try and sell their story and make you feel sorry for them whilst trying to make you believe you’re a special person and you’re going to become dirt stinking rich, the way they’ve composed their story… It’s all a bit LOL.
What isn’t LOL though, is the majority of people who actually fall for it. Let me tell you from now, you are not… I repeat NOT going to become a millionaire. Some rich widow from Nigeria does not think you are her long-lost-African-daughter, this is NOT a family reunion, she is NOT going to give you a millions pounds when you give her your email address, what she is going to do though, is scam the shit out of you, ruin your financial situation, steal all of your money, transfer large sums of other money into your account and then wipe all of the evidence so there’s nothing in the world of worlds you can do about it and so you’re left with a big fat dirty debt.
Anyway, I’ve replied to some of these messages to see what happens. A good journalist always chases her story. (think journalist Kate Spicer loosing over a stone in 6 weeks and becoming ridiculously thin all in aid of a good story).
I’ll let you know how it goes. But for now I’m off to spend my fortune…
Toodles.
P.s (boyfriends apply within – CV’s to be sent to iwannabesiansboyfriend@mistajam.com with a paragraph on how amazing I am and how you’re going to help me spend my fortune).
Luvage
Sian x
LADY LESHURR = UK NICKI MINAJ?
Lady Leshurr – The Unleshurr.
We love that I’m brutally honest right? So in my review we shall trust.
Now if you haven’t heard “Unleshurr” – the new long awaited and heavily Twitter promoed (as Leshurr had been mentioning it via her Twitter for months!) mixtape from the 22 year old female self confessed “diva”, then you’re missing out. The mixtape was released last night and contains 11 tracks and a Westwood skit. Most interestingly, out of those 11 tracks, 8 of them are cover versions of Drake songs.
This could have gone both ways as expectations were very high.
Recent conversation has sparked within the UK industry regarding UK being as strong lyrically as America and Leshurr has been dubbed by MistaJam as “equally as good, if not better than Young Money’s Nikki Minaj” – Drake’s label mate. Was this Leshurr’s way of proving that to both scenes?
Now as I’ve mentioned before in my OMA’s review, I’m unsure as to where the Rap/Grime barrier is raised nowadays, but I’d call Drake rap, and Leshurr is (as she says herself) a Grime artist; so her spitting over American rap beats had me completely confused – and before you all get your knickers in a twist, yes there is a difference between being an ‘artist’ and a ‘Grime artist’!
The UK is full up with talented Grime producers: Royal T, Silencer, Terror Danjah and Rude Kid to name a few; not to mention disgustingly good Dubstep producers such as Sukh Knight, The Others and Doctor P so why were none of them on UnLeshurr? I asked her – are you trying to be the UK Nicki Minaj?
“The reason I did a Drake CD is because every beat he’s vocalled I have always liked to do myself. I was going to call it Drake VS Leshurr but settled with UnLeshurr, [but] I am going to do a CD each month which will be a different genre just to show people I am versatile and experimenting with my voice/style and technique”.
To be honest that could have been a fail as far as I’m concerned, but fortunately in terms of flows and in terms of concepts the covers on the mixtape are all good so I see no reason why she shouldn’t now receive props for it. Leshurr – that could have gotten messy for you though. Which again, shows me her confidence in herself not being just a Grime artist, but an artist. Her lyrical content is hot and the way she mixes up her flow is pure talent. While the Birmingham born & raised female emcee hasn’t mastered her flow just yet, this mixtape proves she’s putting in the work and developing as an artist.
The track I’d tell people to wheel-uppppp would be ’09 – Last Hope’, it’s very deep, an insight to Leshurr’s feelings about music and contains a good use of metaphors.
I’d like to hear some hard core Dubstep beats and Grime beats on your next mixtape Leesh but this will definitely be transferred onto my iPhone for long TFL journeys and general listening. “Money To Grow” (track 12) is also a wicked track. On it, she talks about Twitter and sings on the track “Minaj style” I’m hoping for more of these tunes in the future and we here at MistaJam.com wish her all the best!
Toodles…
Sian x
Flygerian Bigz – Flight Of The Navigator
Although I’m a self confessed Grime fanatic I have no shame in admitting my love for Rap, I grew up on American rap; Styles P, Rick Ross, Papoose and Jules Santana were my main love back when I was 16 and used to slick my hair to my forehead, wear baggy tracksuits and refer to everyone as ‘bruv’. (I kid you not).
In 2009 the only Rap music I came across that was UK and hot included about 80% of SN1′s rappers (Namely Fem Fel, Kyzer, Tiny Boost and Giggs), Kid Bliss’ Auto Pilot Mixtape and Skandals Hunger Pains in 2010. That’s not many, so Grime was my main UK love.
In Kid Bliss’ Auto Pilot Intro and track entitled Boarding Pass my attention was brought to Bigz and GFrsh, I immediately thought they we’re both brilliant and even thought Bigz sounded a bit like Rick Ross (which is a win as far as my eardrums are concerned). So when yesterday I saw Skepta Tweet (yes Twitter is my life, do not judge me!) tweet that Bigz was putting a Mixtape out I almost collapsed. Again – do not judge me, good music excites me!
I patiently waited. Patiently found the download link, and patiently waited for the files to download. (When I say ‘patiently’ what I really mean is that I paced round my room cursing my laptop for taking so long and wondering whether maybe I should chuck my Mac out the window and ‘Window’s 7″ it.) Anyway – it downloaded, I clicked, and a collective of twenty one, yes TWENTY ONE tracks popped up on my screen. At this point, I went to my iTunes and deleted Keisha Coles album (sorry Keisha but les-bi-honest your album was shit) in order to make space for the Flygerian that is…Bigz.
Best decision I’ve made in AGES!
This mixtape is [ofhadgtfhiudjaghfaihdhjdkcbjkfhjktgjkdfsjkghjkggrfjkhitjklrfij
aegrhkfjkgrgrhrtjjrygddfhtbfhijotfjklgsijrfhijtijthiogoehrre – FANTASTIC.
His flow is wpehrtgvoghudsghfoefrwhijotgiejrgjrgrfjdklrkl
His lyrical content is wp[sefhrgjfoiejgkrtiuywyet4irufoiduehwrfidhuergfihjferfidhrfe
His concepts are saohretyghopiuhrtfjkdewrgifdepofirghfdeiortudfoeirtugh
This is Rap at it’s bloody finest, I couldn’t have asked for more, and for an artist to give us 21 free tracks of pure quality with features from Wretch 32, Scorcher, & Wizzy Wow, Talay Riley, Badness, Professor Green, Baby Blue, Sway… Arghhhh it’s too much I can’t even go on.
If you didn’t get this Mixtape, then your life is a MESS right now. He’s comical, he’s confident he’s cocky – look I could go on about how great this Mixtape is forever but you really should have stopped reading this and be on 70% of the download from when you saw the first “[ofhadgtfhiudjaghfaihdhjdkcb”
My favourite track (she say’s like there’s not about 18 of them I’m listening to on repeat) is King Of Rock, now we know how much iHeart Rock so having a rock beat and successfully making it happen just makes me happy. It proves to me that he’s an artist. All of the features are hot, all of the beats are fire and I haven’t yet found a track that I don’t immediately like.
Bigz, whoever you are, where ever you are, you’ve done the UK proud!
DOWNLOAD THIS MASTERPIECE HERE!!!
*Disclaimer Note – Dear Mac laptop, I love you, I was just kidding about the Windows seven thing, please don’t leave me. I am NOT a PC. Love Sian xxx
Official Mixtape Awards
Let’s be honest. When we heard there was going to be an Official Mixtape Awards we were all wetting ourselves with laugher. Why do we need mixtape awards? Like why? I instantly thought it was just a scam for the organisers to make some money off the tickets sold and I wasn’t really going to get involved… That was until two of my artists were nominated for awards. (By “my artists” I mean two of the artists I do PR for) P Money and Little Dee (both Grime acts). So then I thought A. This will show whether I actually done a good PR job on them and B. Be good for them to… you know, say they won an award and know that people acknowledge them as artists… if they win.
So, as a PR I was involved in various ways, we went to Portsmouth for the pre party and radio session. Big up DJ Grind. And we got all of the e-flyers in the nessisary places for people to vote. P Money was up for “Mixtape of the Year” and “Best Grime Mixtape”. And Little Dee was up for “Best Grime Mixtape” too. Bit of competition but its cool cause they’re in the same crew (O.G’z). Anyway, we went up to Portsmouth for the awards not really knowing what to expect. It was pretty empty at first. We bumped into some familiar faces. Wretch 32, Bashy, C Jay Beatz, Griminal, Ghetts etc. Then sat down and waited.
Artist Kele Le Roc stepped on stage. Looking fabbbbuuulousssss! In a dress and hells. 1Xtra’s Ras Kwame too, looking… well, looking like Ras Kwame. They introduced the awards and blah blah blah and then the performances/awards began;
Best mixtape DJ; Dj Limelight. I was going to “Kanye” this; everyone in the audience was screaming “Spyro” and let’s be honest. The guy tours with Tinchy Stryder as his DJ, has a show on Rinse FM where he plays the best off UK artists’ mixtapes and does loads of his own bookings playing again, music off mixtapes then puts out a mixtape. No par to you Limelight but Spyro should have won that (in my humble opinion).
Mixtape Of The Decade; Sway.
I didn’t rate this category from the beginning. As far as I’m concerned J2K and JME are the mixtape legends! They weren’t even nominated! Anyway, Uk rapper Sway won. And in the words of Jamie Howard…’Akon must be so proud’.
Best Hip Hop Mixtape; Wretch 32.
I can’t honestly say where the barrier for UK Grime and UK Rap goes up and Wretch 32 is an amazing artist so I don’t dispute this. He deserves recognition for all the work he’s put into his music.
Best producer: Scorcher.
And before you ask; Yes Davinche was nominated. I rate Scorcher highly, as an artist. His greezy bars are the best! But when it comes to producing, well I dunno what he’s produced so I can’t pass comment. Davinche on the other hand, has done soooo much in 09 for the scene that he should have gotten a separate “Davinche award”.
Best Grime Mixtape: P Money.
And I’m not just saying this cause he’s my artist but he truly deserved that! Money Over Everyone is the best Grime mixtape I’ve heard. Frisco’s mixtape was wicked too, but P Moneys was… gosh, I can’t go on.
Best newcomer: Marvell.
I won’t dispute this. I love Marvell. They’ve done a lot and their lyrical content is wickkkked! Farda.
Mixtape of 09; P Money.
Again, he deserved this. Bashy was also nominated for Bashy.com but to me Catch Me If You Can should have gotten some type of award for all of the hard work, promo and love that Bashy put into it!
Performances from Natalie May, Bashy, Wiley (Yes he did turn up), Lady Leeshur, The Movement, Sway, Marvell, Devlin and Ny (not forgetting a cameo from Griminal) took place during the awards. The performances were performances, so I won’t go on about those; the one I will mention is The Movement. Scorcher, Wretch and Ghetts really know how to perform! They had the crowd going wild, were confident in their show and were loving to the audience. That’s what we like!
Overall, I’d say to all of those involved, a big well done. It wasn’t the most organised thing in the world, but for the first OMA’s I’d say you done a good job of making it a success. Minor things like people not being backstage in time to collect their awards, security not keeping fans from blocking up the front of the stage and a really bad windows media player showing the nominees were annoying but I’m sure they are things you’ll take on board and make better at next years awards!
A big pat on the back to those who won and an even bigger pat on the back for those who were nominated cause even having your mixtapes acknowledged by the fans is something to be proud of!
Can we just have a moment of silence for me too please? I feel as though I won the “Best PR of 09″ award last night… Just saying =)
Toodles
Sian x
INTRODUCING: DYNAMO
I’m never usually left speechless. But lets be honest, when a dude turns five lottery tickets into five £20 notes right in front of your eyes, you’ve kinda gotta shut the fudge up.
I’m also not a strong believer in magic, or should I say I wasn’t a strong believer, not until I turned up to a mates party and met Dynamo Magician. Now we’d met before, quite a few times, and I’d seen him perform magic on more than one occasion, but they were alcohol filled occasions so I brushed off the supposed magic and put it down to what my good old mate talktofrank.com said “Alcohol will often exaggerate whatever mood you’re in when you start drinking.” This time though, I was very much so sober.
“Hold out your hands”. said Dynamo. I followed the instruction. He placed a chocolate from the christmas tree in my palm, waved his own hand across mine and the chocolate disappeared. Look, I know what you’re all thinking. “Why has MistaJam give this crazy girl access to his blog”. But seriously. I’m not lying. It definitely happened. Anyway his next comment was “Why have you got chocolate on your shoulder?” I turned – as you do, to find the chocolate perched on my shoulder. As you can imagine. I screamed. Inside I’m still screaming. It was first scary, then amazing, then exciting and now it’s just scary again!
We got chatting a bit more and he revealed he’s filming a new TV show this summer which will feature some well know faces and some incredible brand new magic. I’m petrified already. Seeing it live is one thing but on television is a completely different kettle of fish. (Or whatever the phrase is)
I’m going to admit, by this stage I needed a drink, Sidebar: drink responsibly. So I grabbed a bottle of wine and sat back down. Now the whole room was intrigued. They were all asking to see him make more magic. He casually took five lottery tickets out of his jacket pocket.
PAUSE: This is where, for me, the alarm bells totally started ringing. Who in their right mind walks around with five lottery tickets in their pockets?
He showed us all five, folded them in half and as he turned them, they were suddenly £20 notes. Can I just put it out there again. I AM NOT CRAZY. About 10 other people witnessed this too! Then he put them back in his pocket, casually and leaned back in his chair.
When asked when he thinks of David Blaine, his good friend and comedian Jamie Howard replied, “He put him in a box”. IÂ swear to you I haven’t laughed that much since John and Edward performed Oops I Did It Again on X Factor.
Have a look at his showreel anyway, he made actress Lindsay Lohan levitate and pulled a chain out of his neck in front of N.E.R.D member Pharrell.
Follow him on Twitter HERE to keep up with the crazy things he does. You will be amazed, honestly, cause I, a former non magic believer, was left stunned!!
Toodles
Sian x
What Is It With Men?
This has been stressing me out for a while now. And I think it’s only right I should put it out there and get all of your opinions on this. Guys and girls.
Here’s what happened;
I’m on my way back from work, during rush hour on what felt like one of the longest days of my life. I was going out for drinks as soon as I dropped my bag off home so I’d done my make up in the office and fixed up a little bit. Now I don’t know about you, but getting on the tube during rush hour has got to be one of the most annoying experiences EVAH (no typo). I’ve made it from Whitechapel to Kings Cross on the tube, which to me is a relief now I only have to get the Victoria Line straight to Brixton. I’m on the platform, just listening to music and the tube says seven minutes. (Which believe me, is a hell of a long time in ‘tube world’).
Next to me, is the cutest guy ever. He’s noticed me, I’ve noticed him. Someone’s walked past us and dropped their travel card without noticing and we’ve both bent down to pick it up as it blows towards the platform edge. Sidebar: I know how cliché this must sound. Anyway, we’ve both laughed, he’s run to give the travel card to the lady and come back to stand next to me. We’ve had a laugh and a joke about “No way would I have tried to catch it if it had blown into the tracks” and we’ve started talking. He’s 23, he lives local (in his own flat) but works in Kings Cross, he works as a manager at a mechanics and he’s got a little sister who he adores. He’s 5 foot 7. I’m 5 ft 5. He’s sort of a Chris Brown look-a-like with gorgeous eyes a silver stud in his right ear and a very cute dress sense.
We’re still talking, just general chit chat, he’s taking a real interest in what I do and we’re laughing cause he completely doesn’t have a clue about Grime music but loves it anyway. He’s basically really perfect.
The train’s arrived, and we’ve both gotten on it. Him first. Now please, at this part of the story think how packed Kings Cross station is at 6:30pm on a weekday and imagine how many people were trying to get on this same train. There’s one spare seat. He takes it. I swear to you, he sat down in the seat and casually carries on the conversation. “Yeah so you were saying.”
What? Did you just not offer me the only seat on the train? Did you just sit down and completely ignore the fact that I’ve got a massive bag hanging off my arm? Like what????
I haven’t said anything; I’ve just put my bag down on the floor and carried on listening to what he’s saying. We’ve got to Brixton and left the station. Then there was that ‘awkward’ moment. Lets be adult about this now, we all know what ‘awkward’ situation I’m on about. The part where you’re about to say bye to the person and you’re not sure whether you shake hands, hug, just say bye and walk off, exchange numbers, like that kind of awkward.
The conversations drawn to an end, he’s said (iQuote) “I don’t normally do this but I’d like to get to know you a bit more, you seem like a really nice girl, you don’t have to if you don’t want too but maybe we can go out for a drink sometime.” At this point my heart is beating like mad! Every part of me head is saying “Yes Chris Brown look-a-like who I’ve only known for 20 minutes. I’d LOVE to go out for drinks with you”. I smile and get ready to give one of those casual “yeah I suppose so” looks. “So can I have your number then?” he says…
“No”. Was my answer? “But it was nice talking to you, maybe I’ll see you around”. I smiled and walked off. He looked completely hurt/shocked/baffled/amazed. But he smiled when I turned and said “Nice meeting you too darling.”
I’m walking off, completely kicking myself that I never gave him my number. BUT. He took the last seat on the tube, so casually, that’s not very nice. That’s not very… what’s the word? Manly, of him. I wasn’t having that. No way… No girl should stand for that, it’s inconsiderate… Right?
Anyway, since then I’ve seen him on my travels from work and after about the sixth time I gave him my number. I presume we’re going to get married and have gorgeous Chris Brown look-a-like babies and live in the Bahamas etc etc. I haven’t told him about the ‘seat’ thing yet. Cause I still think it’s a liberty. But I’m right to be annoyed… right?
Answers on a postcard…
Toodles.
Sian
TWO THOUSAND AND J2K
Howdy!
Being a very big fan of Grime music, you know, the only form of music other than rap where it’s acceptable to hear clashing, shouting and words the Oxford Dictionary haven’t even caught up with. It seemed only right for my first piece to be on Roll Deep member J2K, formerly known as the Grime scenes mixtape originator…
Hailing from east London, Bow, the popular artist J2K has been making music since before I was in nappys. I’m 19. Do the math! After giving up playing football – as you do. The Roll Deep member has successfully put out five mixtapes including “Heat In The Streets 1-3″, “Who Am I” and his most recent “Wake Up EP”. (Presuming we’re all in agreement that selling out on all your mixtapes is successful). As well as performing at shows all over England and Europe.
After Roll Deep’s recent single signing to Relentless, J2K has decided to put out some of his new tracks to celebrate the new year and all of the fans who have supported his career. The EP, entitled “2010″ is available to buy from iTunes and all other CD retailers in February. I’m gonna put my pocket money aside from now. The recession isn’t my friend. Features on the mixtape include Ghetts, Wiley, Dubz, Scorcher and a not-so-grimey tune “Don’t Let Go” featuring the amazing singer Roses Gabor. Now I’ve heard this track. When I say “heard” what I really mean is “I exclusively aired this track on radio before all the major DJ’s had it.” (Sorry Jam) Boastful is beautiful, do not judge me! But I must say, it’s amazing! It’s not Grime, but it’s a fantastic example of J2K not just being dubbed “Grime” but actually being an artist. Gabor is the perfect person to feature on this track as well. My opinion is biased though cause I think she’s an amazing artist. Don’t just take my word for it. Get the EP. Anyway – she has one of those even-if-I-perform-this-live-I’ll-still-sound-the-same voices, and lets be honest, nowadays other than Beyonce, how many other female performers sound the same live? Before you start to protest this, think Cheryl Cole, Fight For This Love performance on X-Factor 2009!
J2K has described this EP as “just a vibes, nothing too deep but good music never the less.” And I must confess, I’m in agreement with him.
Keep up with J2K here: Twitter Myspace Blog
And if you missed MistaJam’s show tonight where he played J2K ft Roses Gabor – Don’t Let Go, then catch it back on BBC iPlayer here
Until next time peoples!
Toodles x
By Sian
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